The Road to Character

One of the great benefits and challenges of being a Head of School is that one receives no shortage of reading suggestions. My bedside table and my kindle are both backlogged with great sources of enlightenment with little time to actually be enlightened. However, David Brooks’s book The Road to Character recently made its way through my rather impressive queue. I am sure many of you know that it is a top read for people like Bill Gates and has been on any number of must read lists. For my part, understanding character development and education is a huge area of interest, so I am always excited to hear someone’s viewpoint in this area.

The book is actually a reflection on about a dozen figures from history, some well known and others more obscure. All of them have different journeys and experiences that help them emerge as important leaders. While varied, there are certainly themes that emerge into a thesis of sorts. Chief among them, in my opinion, is the Brooksian desire to see us return to an age of restraint and moderation and away from the current cultural emphasis on what he calls “the big me.” Brooks views the focus on self-esteem and self-actualization as understandable but limiting in the area of leadership. In a fundamental sense, all of his leaders exhibit the ability to moderate impulse and delay gratification in any number of ways. Not all of this behavior is exclusively praise-worthy – parts of it almost feel pathological. But the theme of restraining aspects of who we are rather than merely celebrating every bit of ourselves is certainly a bit controversial in today’s psychological discourse.

That said, I think there are some pieces here that connect to my own view of Berwick’s Seacoast values. Surely humility is a major point of emphasis of this book, and a word that I value for this community deeply. But I also appreciate the voices of our parents who worry about the dangers of “coddling” students in a private school environment like Berwick. While our parents appreciate the safety we provide, I do think most of our parents want to see a few “skinned knees” as well, to borrow a phrase from Wendy Mogul. Whether it has been the emergence of a Wellness center or a step away from traditional honor rolls, some of these voices appropriately question if Berwick is going too far in the direction of support and nurturing at the expense of toughness, character, and resiliency.

Of course there is no easy answer to these concerns, other than falling back on our central core value of balance. It needs to be both – skinned knees and support. Extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. Risk taking and safety. Traditional and innovative. So this most recent read reminds me that this is my fundamental task as school leader: trying to discern the best practices from all of these polarities and creating something that is uniquely Berwick in our effort to develop character. Throughout this journey, we need to focus on the reality that so many conversations in education are not “either or” in nature but rather “and also.” We want to be innovative and also develop a traditional sense of character and resiliency for our students.

I wonder what is next on my bedside table…..